Inner self battle.

1 : Go talk to him. It's okay.
2 : No, he would freak out if I do.
1 : You don't know that for sure. Go!
2 : No! I'm scared....
1 : Of what? You see, you still are considering him as your friend right? Don't be such a jerk. Go, talk for God sake!
2 : I'm scared of losing a friend. I wouldn't want him to think I'm only gonna find him when I need him. Especially since I ran away, away from him. 
1 : Well, are you?
2 : No of course not! I've been caring for him since who knows when up until now. I've never stopped. I maybe have stopped showing, but heyy no I have never stopped caring.
1 : Then what's the problem? Just say hi. I don't see any harm in that. Besides, you guys have stopped talking to each other for at least five months. And from the way I see it, you are nothing more than strangers. He might be faking it, but I'm sorry, he's succeeding in making it seems like you've never been a part of his life. So tell me which part of that are you risking to lose?
2 : You're mean. But, that is true I suppose. So I guess there's no risk in saying hi. He might actually have forgot about everything that happened before and maybe he is waiting for me to make a move first. Or he might actually hate me ever more than he already did. Oh well, if the latter come true I suppose there wouldn't be any difference at all since we already are like two complete strangers. You're right.
1 : So you'll go and talk to him? :D
2 : Nahh, there wouldn't be any difference then. 
1 : But you know it's going to hurt you if he has the thought of you throwing your friendship in the first place right?
2 : Was I really the one who threw it all away? Was I really? 
1 : I don't know. I mean, you've tried explaining for number of times. But...
2 : But his reactions are so foggy I didn't understand a thing and I pulled myself a little back to give him all the spaces he needed. And now, this happened. What am I supposed to do now? Is he still a friend? Am I still a friend of his?
1 : ......

1 and 2 are both the same person. This is basically the conversation this girl is currently having in her mind every single day.