It's 1 am. Should be sleeping or at least reading Chemistry right now but I just can't seem to focus. This is too disturbing. So I thought of writing this out.
See, there were these three guys who had been very significant in my life. And as I'm using the word had, I mean that was in the past.
There was A. We were so close back in 2011 that I actually acknowledged him as a temporary boyfriend. He was more like a best friend actually. But still, temporary boyfriend suits better. But now you know what? We're no longer talking to each other. Both of us have been very busy with our own life. He has changed that I no longer know who he is. I actually couldn't be bothered about him anymore. For real.
Then there was B. We were perfectly close for more than 6 months. We were so close, I thought of him as a brother. We shared stories and joked around. We really had fun together. But now? It was because of respect and now everything's gone. Completely. We barely speak to each other anymore. I felt used, and he felt disrespected. Misunderstandings, perhaps that was it. But now I really couldn't care less about any of it. He's happy with his current life, and I am happy with mine. That sure is more than enough isn't it?
C. Had a very long crush on him. Loved him, and maybe I still do but I don't know. It was for the sake of my duty and love for the One who created me, I knew I must avoid it. I am not strong enough to fight the feelings, so I decided to avoid the person himself in the first place. Told him that several times but I'd still fall off the track. And he would too. I tried to hold it in for the sake of the friendship that has been built for a very long time, but I guess now I just can't take it anymore. Even if it will destroy the friendship, I'm backing off. I'm leaving him and everything behind. That sounds mean. Maybe I am. But I just can't take this anymore. I do not enjoy doing this, but I don't have any other choices anymore. He left me with none but only this.
No conclusion.
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