Hey.

And heyyyyyyyyyyyy you've unprotected your account. Now I can be updated on your life again yeayyyyyyyy. Okay that just sounds wrong. Merely wrong.

Call me obsessive or whatever, maybe I am I don't know. And I don't care.

You see, my tears were there while I was scrolling. It hurts. But it's a good kind of hurt. You know like Olly Murs' Troublemaker "Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad" . Yeah, pretty much. And here I am listening to good old love songs, reminiscing.

It hurts when it seems like I never have existed in your life, ever. You're doing good. No no, you're doing more than good, you are doing great. But I know everything was my fault. I left. I was the one who chose to leave, without words. And I don't want to ruin your smiles, your charming everyday smiles. It doesn't matter to me who you're smiling at, or for, but to know that somewhere, you are smiling still, is more than enough.

I know I am nowhere the right place to be asking for anything. In fact, I don't even stand a chance to think about asking for anything. But if there's one more thing I can ask of, Id like to know if you're okay with me. If you're still mad at me. If you hate me. Will hearing my name ruin your day? I won't ask for anything else I promise. That is all I need to know of.

I know it was my fault in the first place that I don't have it in me at all, to face you. I can't. I'm just too terrified. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.