Do good.

It was like since forever I've heard people telling me 'I thought you're .........' or 'you look like someone who can do ............'. People have always been setting a thought of me could do things they think I am capable of. It is indeed an encouragement to have people seeing me of capable to do stuff. Maybe I can do them. But that doesn't really mean I would like to.

Back in high school, a teacher once said to me. "Nurin, why aren't you a prefect already? Didn't you apply?" Allah knows how badly I wanted to, but in that case, there were too many complications and confusions that were in my way so no I didn't apply let alone being chosen.

Another example is when I got into PASUM, a friend said, "Nurin I thought you're gonna further your studies overseas. I can imagine you studying abroad". And once again, Allah knows how much I would trade for such opportunity. His words were very comforting, Allah blesses his beautiful soul.

And recently, "Nurin, you're accepting the offer? Don't you want to become a doctor? You can do it you know". Such faith they have in me. May Allah rewards you good souls His beautiful Jannah.

But instead, I didn't even try to reach some expectations people put on me.

For today I'd like to write more specifically about the doctor-ship matter.

If I was asked, 'do you want to become a doctor?'

I'd say yes, undoubtedly yes.

And then if they ask more, 'how badly do you want it?'

I'd probably answer, 'I don't know. If I get the chance to, I will do it. But if I don't, that's okay. Life goes on'.

So you see in this matter of furthering studies in medicine, it is not just something you could surrender against fate. It needs firing passion and undying devotion, which I don't possess. I am not shame to admit, that I don't have such determination.

My goal has always been to help people. No matter in what kind of shape or form, as long as what I do could ease people's agony or pain, that is more than enough for me. So I don't mind if I don't get to do what doctors do to help. It would be my greatest pleasure to know what I do could bring a little light into someone's dark and painful life or even as simple as causing even the slightest smile on faces.

I have been thinking. If I were offered to do medicine, will I really be able to do it? I can. I know I can. Who else would know of my capabilities more than myself right? I know I can. But will I be a good doctor soon? Who am I kidding? I am having second and third thoughts on being a doctor, how am I going to convince myself that I am going to be a good one?

I would rather make a small money, live in a small house, drive in a small car, but become a good something rather than making big money, living in a big house, driving in a big car but do no good to other people. A failure, I would call that.

I believe that we should have a strong will in doing things. And that is how we can overcome any possibilities that's getting in our way.

…If anyone does a good action, We will increase the good of it for him. "Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Ever-Thankful". (Surat ash-Shura: 23)

 Surely they who believe and do good deeds and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate they shall have their reward from their Lord, and they shall have no fear, nor shall they grieve. (Surat Al-Baqarah: 277)