Speech.

Another birthday post cause the mood is just here and it raaaaarely stays this long hahaha. 

Assalamualaikum. May peace be upon all of you. Alhamdulillah still breathing, with this lungs and nose and all other organs aged 21 years old.  

Let's see. I am not actually in the mood of celebrating. The only thing I would want to do right now is hug and kiss both my parents goodnight before they sleep tonight. But I guess you can say that I am just a little too shy to do that now since Ibu is chatting with her siblings and Ayah already went to bed. But that is fine. Just to have them both here is enough. And I guess I can do that tomorrow, insyaAllah. 

Truth is, I don't expect any birthday wishes this year. I hide my birthdate on Facebook, and I has not obviously mentioned about it on any social media. Except here of course, because not everybody read blogs anymore. But to those who still do, kudos to you awesome people *brofist*. I guess this is just a phase in growing up. Carpe diem, I am seizing the day, I feel contented this way. To the people who wishes me because they remember, thank you for having me in your memory. 

I don't think that I actually deserve any kind of attention. I think I am just one small entity, who breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, and continuously exchanging these two with the greens. Just like everybody else. 

I despise attachment. Ask me who I am the closest with, I'd say my sister. And that is because I know blood relations won't break even if we don't see each other for good 20 years (I said if). But for people with no blood relation? I like people, but I don't get attached. I don't let myself to. And that's why I once said tha I hate hellos more than I hate goodbyes. Because eventually, hellos lead to goodbyes. 

But honestly I am always torn between having some people to be close with and being just casually nice friends with everyone. I mean I would want some people who are close enough that would come to my funeral and sadaqah some yassin and quran verses to me when I'm gone later right?

I see no connections between the earlier topic with this paragraph above (hahaha). But I just feel like writing what I have in my mind so there you go. 

I thank everyone for everything you have done for and to me. Forgive me if I ever hurt your feelings whether I know it or not (worse case when I don't know so could you please tell me if I ever did or do that so that I can repair myself). Thank you again, semuanya.