Rant!

Hello! I am so back for only the third time this year while it is already July *guilty*

Life update! I am so done with third year of school, and now am waiting for the results to come out. With Allah's permission, I hope I do well last semester, pass is all I need, with that being said, please my CGPA please, be something over 3.0 *cries*

And that's that. I have only been home since the semester break officially started on 13th of July and a bit of here and there but nothing too fancy. I am so in the mood of decluttering and put the house in a proper manner again as Ibu has been so busy with work that I think the house is in quite a messy situation now. I just thought that I need to take over *pop knuckles*

I think it has been like forever since I last updated my blog and looking at everything I wrote for the past years thinking just how many things have changed. I want to start blogging again, and I am still thinking whether or not to make a new blog all over again because this one has around 400 posts since 2012. Wow ain't I a writer.

But yeah, I just thought of starting anew, but to close this one down and put up a new one, I am still debating it with myself, so we will see. Maybe it will all be decided by the end of this month, so if next month you aren't seeing this anymore, know that I appreciate my readers so much and I just don't understand why you are reading cause I have been writing basically craps these days *that funny looking tear out of my eyes emoji*

For now, I am not really sure whether I should be ranting my heart content out. Maybe I will but there's a high chance that I will stop halfway cause I am getting a lot rusty since I have stopped writing for so long! But let's just give it a shot cause you'll never know.

Let's see. It's passed the midway of the year, and a lot have changed since last year. For me at least. Well, so far, 2016 is the year where I get to know myself better. I have been spending a lot of time by myself cause that's how I just prefer it to be, and that's just how I discover that I am a very agitated driver at most times (HAHAHA), I tidy my room up spontaneously when I am stressed out, I can't really function under pressure but I can most likely to once I get a grip of everything again which I can do pretty swiftly, I am not good in being in front of public especially in spontaneous occasions and I like working backstage instead, and that I am just a forgetful person cause guess what? I have forgotten everything else I truly learned about myself this year. There are more, but for now they are hiding somewhere in the chambers of my memories.

You know, I believe that as we grow up, we don't really change. We are merely discovering things we didn't even know about ourselves in the past years we have been living. We learn about ourselves more as we stumble upon more things in life. When people say 'you've changed', I don't really think they do, they are only showing you the more real version of themselves as time goes by.

Imagine first knowing a person, and everything we see about them is just goodness. And then, as we get to know them, we get see more flaws. And as we live with them, over the years, they will start to just exhibit the real version of themselves.

Say if they are always the ones who wipe your tears every single time you cry, over time, the number of times they do will gradually be lesser. That does not mean that they have stopped caring about you, it just means how all of us are living as individuals, and that we all have our own lives, and in the very end, we only have ourselves. This implies to every single person on earth, as long as we are still breathing.

I don't even really remember how I was 5 years back, but that was me. As much as I would not want to, I have to admit that all the embarrassing stuff I did when I was 17 was all my doing, that was the realest version of me as it ever can be, and today, although I might have been different, this is the realest version of me as well. Perhaps this difference is what people call the change, but for me, nah, we are just evolving, like Pokemon does. *shout out to the Pokemon Go hype now*

Wow that was a long post but I am so glad that the writer in me is still here. Speaking of it, I think it may have been here all along, only waiting for the trigger all this while. So tadaa, glad this one did not turn out to be another draft, only halfway written, waiting to be deleted in the future.

On a side note, I have been watching too many vlogs nowadays that I think I would like to try it out someday, but I have no suitable camera for that, so I guess that part of me would just have to wait till the day I become rich and have it all. That sounds like it will never even happen though *cries in one corner*. Whatever it is, thank you for reading *still not sure why you do*, and I am so happy that I wrote this all the way through alhamdulillah. Toodles!