Takpe.

Contemplating over my first year result got me thinking what I did last semester. Like seriously, what did I do? Alhamdulillah, the CGPA is okay. Not as good as the first semester's but I guess it suits my effort. But then the GPA was quite disappointing. Of course this would explain the deteriorating CGPA right.

And then I looked at each subject. Less A's than last time. And more B's. Plus a new friend, a C. For the core subjects, the B's and C's. To have it worse two B- and a C+ . Somehow this sure hit me. Am I sure of this path. Never once have the thought of dropping this programme ever crossed my mind. Not that it does now. Probably because I don't have anything else in mind.

One thing I know for sure is that I'm just gonna keep walking down this road. Because I don't see another. Just because. I'm putting all my trust and faith in Allah Ta'ala for that He, The All-Knowing definitely knows what's best for me.

If you ask me how I would see myself in another 3 years after graduating, it's UK. It's like I'm so blinded by it that I don't even mind how bumpy the roads might be. By all means, I know I'm gonna be there one day. One way or another huh. I don't know. Is this right? Or is it wrong? I just don't know.

To be talking about how I'm feeling right now, disappointed of course. I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't work as hard as I should have that I end up disappointing my parents. I hope they won't question my assurance of this path. I hope they will keep believing in me because they know there are times when we fall in life and this is my time for it.

But then after feeling disappointed, I'm feeling quite okay. I guess when you stop devoting too much into dunya, it calms you down when one of the beautiful temporary dunya matter is taken away from you. It's like He is saying it's okay, keep going. Akhirah is abadan, dunya is nothing. Keep going love. Sometimes it's a test. Sometimes it's a punishment. Sometimes it's a reminder. Whatever it might be, Allah is giving it to you out of love. He knows best, He is Al-Alim.

Don't forget to thank Allah for today and everyday. Have a nice day :)