However, for me personally, I must say my excitement in celebrating raya as called by Malaysians, is declining as the years go by. I no longer get excited for rendang, kuah kacang, lemang or ketupat. Not anymore for kuih or duit raya. In short, for everything raya-related.
I don't anymore bother to see cousins or old friends who I haven't met in a long time. Donning new clothes are only to be put up on Instagram. Lagu raya will only be heard if it's on the radio, and I only put on the radio when in the car. Balik kampung is no longer something I get excited about. I only heard takbir raya on malam raya when the TV was on. And the saddest part is that I have never been to solat sunat Aidilfitri in my entire life.
Now that you've known how pathetic my raya is, you must feel better for your raya is a whole lot different than mine. You just must.
The reasons for this? I think it's just me. I am getting more and more boring of a person that I no longer get excited at anything anymore. I don't care about most stuff nowadays, not just raya stuff.
I am sorry for myself the more I think about this. It's like the excitement inside of me has been sucked out or something. But let's just focus on hari raya for today. I hate it that I don't go out to the hall when my cousins came and hid in the room instead. I hate it that I got bored and went to sleep when my aunts and uncles are giving out duit raya. I hate it that I wore my PJs on the second day of raya instead of nice new baju raya. I hate it that I didn't properly salam my parent's hands and kissed their cheeks begging for forgiveness. I hate it that raya has no longer mean anything. I hate to say this, but it may come to an extend where I probably hate myself.
It gets more frustrating the more I think about it. I shall just stop here. Please don't let my post affects your raya mood. I'm truly sorry if it does.
So how's your raya? Happy raya everyone :)
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