Been feeling quite unease since last night. It felt pretty terrible since today is the day I'm facing my first paper. Wallahualam only Allah knows what's going on, but it's probably just anxiety.
And then this morning, put on my best baju kurung just to feel good and went down. It was when the invigilator called us in that I remembered I didn't bring my exam slip together. Silly me. I then went to the office with Hafizzah and ask for another slip. I was in Mr Akmal's office when my phone rang and it was Ibu. I answered it but my mind was too messed up to clearly think through of my actions.
And Mr Akmal then asked Fiza, "should your friend be picking up the phone while having a business with me?" He had his smirk on. Was he kidding, or was he not, I couldn't tell.
Hold the phone for a few moment to get the slip, thanked him and went to the exam hall. Without apologizing for my bad manner. I felt bad but I couldn't really put my words together back then. Rude me.
It bothered me throughout almost the whole three hours of sitting the exam. So I decided to went back to Mr Akmal's office to apologize.
I am blessed to have such supportive friends who would correct me when I'm wrong. Asked for few friends' opinion whether I should do it or am I just overacting and too overthinking. But they pushed me to go saying that it will probably haunt me later. Which is true, I guess.
So in the name of Allah, I knocked the door to his room and turned the knob when I suddenly realized that.....
IT WAS LOCKED AND HE WAS NOT INSIDE!
The frustration I had. Hahaha. I actually gathered the last bits of my courage to confront an officer but the plan went down the drain in just a turn of a knob.
What should I do now? Meet him later, and by later I mean next week since my next paper is only by then. Or be contented with the decision that I made, to apologize, and just let it go? I don't know.
Lesson learned. Next time you're in the middle of a business, especially a formal one, just let your phone ring until your business is done.
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